So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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