Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
