it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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