So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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