she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
