she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
