so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
