Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it's like heaven, but drunker
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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