Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
