my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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