In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
