my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
