I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
