I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
