Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
