so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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