Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
