I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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