dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
