Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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