Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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