I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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