I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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