maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
