once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
