Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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