in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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