Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
