is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can't put those talents on a resume
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
