okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
