Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
