she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
