So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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