So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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