it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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