she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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