TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You dont lie about slip and slides
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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