Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
