He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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