We're facebook friends in real life
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
