we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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