so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
