Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
