she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
PANTIES FOUND
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