I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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