Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
