you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
