You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
