Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
