There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
