This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Randomize
