it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
