Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
