Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
