Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
