everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
